Monthly Archives: November 2006

What a mess or What every young women should know

Look, I’m not some old fuddy duddy; I had my ‘wild days’.  I spent time drinking & dancing & having fun with friends. I wore the fashions of the day – tube tops, silky shirts, designer jeans so tight that I had to lie down on the bed to get them zipped up.  I wore nice clothes too – shirts & skirts for those dressier events.

I did, however, manage to remember to put on underwear.  I just don’t think that’s something that’s easily forgotten.  Well, perhaps at the end of an evening you could justify forgetting (or misplacing) them, but you should realize there’s something missing before you leave the house, right?

I suspect most of us have heard (or worse, seen) the photos of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan (and a myriad of others who have neglected to finish dressing before leaving the house) in a skirt so short as to be confused for a belt and getting into and out of a low-riding car.  I’m not linking to them, but believe me, you won’t have a hard time finding them on the web.

C’mon girls.  This doesn’t take an intellectual genius to figure out (lucky for all of you!).  

When I was in junior high school, skirts were pretty short, well, really short.  My mother would have me try on a particular outfit I wanted and then say, "Bend over, like you’re in science class and looking into a microscope." If my underwear showed, that outfit went back on the rack.  There was no debating it.

As I got older, I realized all on my own that there were some things that were supposed to be reserved for private moments.  I deemed that showing upper and lower private parts to be among those things.  I was also able to figure out how to get into and out of an automobile (and other seated positions) without exposing myself to others. I know that the bar has been lowered dramatically in recent years, but I don’t think it’s yet reached to point where the bar has to be eliminated altogether.

So here’s my advice:

1.  Write a yellow sticky note and post it on your front door that says "Underwear?!".   If required, draw a little picture of panties and a bra, just to make sure you understand.  Check all relevant areas to make sure that said undergarments are in place prior to leaving the house.

2.  Check your hem length.  Get dressed, then bend over, then squat down.  If you feel and breeze or coolness on your private parts, underwear is a requirement. 

P.S.:  In this exercise, thongs are not underwear.  Thongs under jeans or pants are fine, but they do not preserve your modesty under a short skirt.

3.  Two months after giving birth is way too soon to forgo a bra.  No matter how much weight you’ve lost.  Strap ’em in for a while longer — please.  Breasts swollen from pregnancy aren’t sexy, their saggy.

4.  If you want to be taken seriously, cover up.  No, I’m not talking burka here.  I’m saying classy and sophisticated with ensure a longer and more respected career than slutty and low-brow.  Bright-eyed beats drunken mess every time.  Further, America is much more willing to forgive and forget a male drunken mess than a female drunken mess.  Unfair?  Yes, but true.  And, at any time you billed yourself or accepted the label of America’s Sweetheart, Pop Princess, or any term containing bubbly or perky and you’ve got a long road ahead of you.

5.  If you are aiming to stick it to your soon-to-be ex; and if he is prepared to use custody of the children as a weapon to get his fingers on some more of your dough, don’t give him any ammunition.  Leaving your infant and toddler with who knows who while you go on a multi-day club hop is asinine.  I can understand wanting to get out and blow the stink off after having 180 pounds of dung draped around your neck for two and a half years, but you’re a mom.  It’s your job to raise your children, nobody else’s.  No matter how many nannies you have or how much you’re paying them, these are your children.  Just because the sperm donor doesn’t wish to participate does not mean you’re allowed to pass too.

6.  Hire a stylist if you can’t figure it out on your own.

7.  Keep private parts and private moments private.  Oh, and can celebrities PLEASE stop making sex tapes…Jeez! That is all.

See?  Classy vs. Trashy!  

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Exposed: The Extremist Agenda

Exposed

Please watch Glenn Beck’s special tonight on CNN Headline News. For more information,
go to Glenn Beck’s website. To find the CNN Headline News channel in your area, go here.

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Ed Bradley – RIP

 
Ed Bradley has died at age 65.
 
Bradley
 
Bradley hugged the left and was (in my opinion) a tad biased in his reporting in later years, but he seemed like a personable guy.  Rest in Peace.
 
 
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This is exactly what we’ve voted in…

And so it begins.  For all the talk of serving the American people, it’s all about getting a pound of flesh.  Shouldn’t our government be spending their time securing our nation from enemies, isn’t that their primary purpose? It’s a damn shame.

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Rummy Resigns

Rumsfeld resigns.  I think it’s a shame.  Donald Rumsfeld served his country admirably and took too many hits that weren’t justified.

I liked Rumsfeld.  He was a serious man in a thankless job.

God Speed, Rummy!

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The chill wind

So the Democrat party has prevailed and has a majority of the House and probably the Senate as well.

I don’t mind telling you that 1) I’m disappointed at the poor showing of Republicans, 2) I’m disappointed at the number of voters were too easily seduced into assigning importance to unimportant things and 3) I’m hoping that the Republicans got the message last night that their constituency expects them to carry through on their espoused values and philosophy – they did not do that, and they got turned out because of it.

As far as the Democrat controlled Congress, I will wait and see what happens. My feeling is their “tax the rich” rhetoric that they always use to gain votes will quickly turn into raise taxes on everyone but those already on government subsidies. The “rich” designation of over $250,000 will be scaled down and suddenly the concern voiced by teh Dems for the middle class will be gone, and the rabid appetite for tax dollars (read redistribution of wealth) will begin.

I do believe that while the Democrats talk about ‘spending out of control’ and deficits, they would be wise not to continue to spend taxpayer dollars on endless and expensive “investigations” to embarrass or weaken the Administration and/or Republicans.

We’ll see what happens. My feeling is it will be same ol’, same ol’.

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Truth in advertising, but no truth in politics

I’ve been following the election news recently (how can you avoid it?) and have come to the conclusion that all politicians (and their minions) are lying, egotistical idiots.  I’ve further come to the conclusion that all news organizations (TV, radio, and print) and lying, egotistical entities.

Unless the average citizen has the time and the means to research every statement uttered by the politician and news agency, there really is no way to know what is true. 

The Federal Trade Commission has a "truth in advertising" rule.  There must be a way for voters to demand that politicians and news agencies follow that standard.

If a politician cannot win based on the truth about himself and his opponent, then perhaps they do not deserve to win. 

News organizations are supposed to report the facts of any given subject.  Opinion is supposed to be confined the the Opinion/Editorial section and should be clearly declared as such.

The disgust that far too many of us have at the political process is that we are not being presented with the truth — by anyone.  The candidates lie about their opponents, they lie about their positions on issues and their intentions, and the news orgs misrepresent the facts to further their particular agenda.

The American people deserve better. 

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Filed under Duct tape zone, Politicians