Anna Nicole Smith – Dead at 39

Anna Nicole Smith died today.  She was found unresponsive in her hotel room in Florida and could not be revived.  She was pronounced dead at the hospital a short time later.  At this point, no cause of death is known.

Anna Nicole Smith was born Vicki Lynn Hogan in Texas in 1967.  Most Americans know something about the ups and downs of her life.

See her biography on Wikipedia, here.

I would bet that Anna Nicole would still be alive today had she remained Vicki Lynn Morgan.  The life she lead – as a stripper, Playboy Playmate, celebrity – certainly didn’t do much to enhance her life.

She was mocked along the way, for being overweight, for being ditzy, for being druggy.  There seemed to be few who helped her and many who took advantage of her.

The loss of her son, Daniel,  likely still haunted her.

She was a lost soul, aimlessly adrift, who never found the anchor she needed in life.

She may also be a cautionary tale to Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole and Kate.  Life is fragile.  You cannot continue to abuse it or it will leave you.

Anna Nicole left a 5 month old daughter.  If drugs or alcohol played any part in her death (and that is just speculation on my part, but given her history, not without merit), it illustrates even more the damage that an ungrounded life can do.  If the constant up and down of her weight – or the remedies she used to lose weight and keep it off played some part, it brings home again the deadly nature of our obsession with physical appearance.

A lot of people knew Anna Nicole was in trouble – her erratic behavior was well documented.  Who was looking out for her — her best interest?  Who was hanging on for their own self-interest?

Poor soul.  Perhaps she can rest now.  God Bless her daughter.

Al Gore – reputation salvager? Ah, no…

Well, another fastinating statement by cutting edge, future Nobel Peace Prize winner Lindsay Lohan has been release. The story from around the web, goes like this:

Lindsay Lohan’s Fully Adequite Blackberry Manifesto

Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said.

I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help.

Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people.

Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.

People are just mean.

I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.

But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion.

Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career.

Let’s sue the tabloids for saying the things they say.

Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point.

I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them.

Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing.

Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let’s find out.

Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask.

If we just ASK.

I’d really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone.

I’m willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to ‘these people’ trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I’ve gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life.

Its enough already, I’ve had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change.

For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I’ve lost in the recent days, years, months.

I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak.

Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing.

Just ask them, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

So let’s start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I’m doing it either way. The way of the future.

Thank you for your time.
Your Entertainer,
Lindsay Lohan

Al Gore Won’t Help Lindsay Lohan

Al Gore has denied he is going to help Lindsay Lohan salvage her reputation.

The 20-year-old actress sent an email to friends and lawyers claiming the former US Vice President had offered to help her clean up her image, but he has been quick to disassociate himself from the claims.

In a statement released yesterday (12.07.06), a representative for Gore said: “I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

Lindsay had claimed in her email: “Al Gore will help me. He came up to me and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.”

She also wrote: “Hilary (sic) Clinton, Bill Clinton…. would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK.”

But representatives for both Bill and Hilary have refused to comment on the subject.

Lindsay wanted to call upon the politicians to help her, “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press,” as a vehicle for her opinions on, “how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people. Because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.”

So, first of all, this could well be the sanest decision that Gore has made since he left his VP gig. Secondly, who is looking out for this young woman? Yes, yes, I know she is 20 years old. She’s considered an adult, capable of making her own decisions. But she has the mental capacity of a 13 year old. Moreover, she is clearly operating in a different dimension than the rest of us. I won’t even discuss the sub-par education she has apparently received…

My guess is that she will join Kurt Cobain and River Phoenix before she’s 22. Her family and friends, managers, agents, etc. will have to carry some level of blame. It’s a pretty well worn tale of young people being allowed to be out of control because they are the big wage earners. It’s not unusual for them to self-destruct and for their “loved ones” to let them; the hangers-on don’t want to be cut off from the money or the fame by offending their little star (hello? Calling all of Michael Jackson’s clan here).

For those of us not in la Lohan’s inner circle, perhaps choosing to not deposit more money in this girl’s pocket is the best we can do for her. Hopefully, the “impact on our younger generation(s)” she claims she has is that these girls will not want to be like her.

Shut up and act (if you can)….

So another ‘celebrity’ has weighed in on just how bad we Americans are…and of course, it’s an American.

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened her pie-hole again, stating:

“I love the English lifestyle, it’s not as capitalistic as America. People don’t talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner,” she told “NS,” the weekend magazine supplement of daily Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias on Saturday.

“I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans. I love the English lifestyle. I’m not as capitalistic as America.”

Several hours later, of course, she reneged saying:

“First of all I feel so lucky to be American. When you look at the rest of the world, we’re so lucky, and that’s something my dad always instilled in me,” Paltrow tells PEOPLE. “I feel so proud to be American.”

“I felt so upset to be completely misconstrued and I never, ever would have said that,” says the 34-year-old Oscar winner. “I definitely did not say that I think the British are more intelligent and civilized than Americans. I am a New York girl, that’s how I always think of myself and see myself.”

Okie dokie Gwynnie.

I’ve never been a Paltrow fan.  I think her head in a box in Se7en was her finest acting moment, but I digress.  Perhaps she was telling the truth about being misinterpretted, I don’t know.  I do know she’s also said this:

“Last year, I just had a baby and thought, I don’t want to live there. Bush’s anti-enviornment, pro-war policies are a disgrace.”

“I worry about bringing up a child in America. At the moment there is a wierd over-patriotic atmosphere over there like–We’re number one and the rest of the world doesn’t matter.”

I also seem to remember she stocked up on supplies (including the low supply and by prescription only drug Cipro) during the anthrax scare.

She also earned a reported $750,000 for Shakespeare in Love.  She earned $10,000,000 (that’s ten million dollars) for View from the Top (which, I have to say, I have never heard of).   She also reported purchased a $1.26 million luxury apartment in London in 2002 – before marriage and kids.  She and her husband, Chris Martin, purchased a home in 2004 for a reported $5.7 million.

Glad she’s not capitalistic or anything.

Paltrow grew up with  famous and wealthy parents – Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner.  I doubt she ‘struggled’ for much in her life.  But whether she has or hasn’t, she certainly has not lived with ‘normal’ folks.  Most people in my world don’t talk about money (it’s considered rude).  We do talk about work, because it’s part of our life.  ‘What’d you do at work today, honey?’  ‘How’s your job going, Tom?’ ‘Are you going back to work after you have the baby, Nancy?’ We also do not feel being patriotic is “weird”.  Far more of us than not believe we have what we do because of those who have and do fight for our constitution and way of life.

Perhaps the look-down-her-nose attitude that Paltrow has is more a reflection of the people she grew up around and chose to associate with as an adult than the ‘typical’ American.

Come on over for dinner sometime Gwynnie.  We won’t talk about our work if you don’t talk about yours.  We won’t talk about money if you don’t.  We can talk about new roofs, and kitchen renovations.  We can gossip about Brad and Angelina and Jen.

I’ll make steak & kidney pie and pull you a Guiness.

What a mess or What every young women should know

Look, I’m not some old fuddy duddy; I had my ‘wild days’.  I spent time drinking & dancing & having fun with friends. I wore the fashions of the day – tube tops, silky shirts, designer jeans so tight that I had to lie down on the bed to get them zipped up.  I wore nice clothes too – shirts & skirts for those dressier events.

I did, however, manage to remember to put on underwear.  I just don’t think that’s something that’s easily forgotten.  Well, perhaps at the end of an evening you could justify forgetting (or misplacing) them, but you should realize there’s something missing before you leave the house, right?

I suspect most of us have heard (or worse, seen) the photos of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan (and a myriad of others who have neglected to finish dressing before leaving the house) in a skirt so short as to be confused for a belt and getting into and out of a low-riding car.  I’m not linking to them, but believe me, you won’t have a hard time finding them on the web.

C’mon girls.  This doesn’t take an intellectual genius to figure out (lucky for all of you!).  

When I was in junior high school, skirts were pretty short, well, really short.  My mother would have me try on a particular outfit I wanted and then say, "Bend over, like you’re in science class and looking into a microscope." If my underwear showed, that outfit went back on the rack.  There was no debating it.

As I got older, I realized all on my own that there were some things that were supposed to be reserved for private moments.  I deemed that showing upper and lower private parts to be among those things.  I was also able to figure out how to get into and out of an automobile (and other seated positions) without exposing myself to others. I know that the bar has been lowered dramatically in recent years, but I don’t think it’s yet reached to point where the bar has to be eliminated altogether.

So here’s my advice:

1.  Write a yellow sticky note and post it on your front door that says "Underwear?!".   If required, draw a little picture of panties and a bra, just to make sure you understand.  Check all relevant areas to make sure that said undergarments are in place prior to leaving the house.

2.  Check your hem length.  Get dressed, then bend over, then squat down.  If you feel and breeze or coolness on your private parts, underwear is a requirement. 

P.S.:  In this exercise, thongs are not underwear.  Thongs under jeans or pants are fine, but they do not preserve your modesty under a short skirt.

3.  Two months after giving birth is way too soon to forgo a bra.  No matter how much weight you’ve lost.  Strap ’em in for a while longer — please.  Breasts swollen from pregnancy aren’t sexy, their saggy.

4.  If you want to be taken seriously, cover up.  No, I’m not talking burka here.  I’m saying classy and sophisticated with ensure a longer and more respected career than slutty and low-brow.  Bright-eyed beats drunken mess every time.  Further, America is much more willing to forgive and forget a male drunken mess than a female drunken mess.  Unfair?  Yes, but true.  And, at any time you billed yourself or accepted the label of America’s Sweetheart, Pop Princess, or any term containing bubbly or perky and you’ve got a long road ahead of you.

5.  If you are aiming to stick it to your soon-to-be ex; and if he is prepared to use custody of the children as a weapon to get his fingers on some more of your dough, don’t give him any ammunition.  Leaving your infant and toddler with who knows who while you go on a multi-day club hop is asinine.  I can understand wanting to get out and blow the stink off after having 180 pounds of dung draped around your neck for two and a half years, but you’re a mom.  It’s your job to raise your children, nobody else’s.  No matter how many nannies you have or how much you’re paying them, these are your children.  Just because the sperm donor doesn’t wish to participate does not mean you’re allowed to pass too.

6.  Hire a stylist if you can’t figure it out on your own.

7.  Keep private parts and private moments private.  Oh, and can celebrities PLEASE stop making sex tapes…Jeez! That is all.

See?  Classy vs. Trashy!  

My take on Mel Gibson

It’s the big buzz this week. So here’s my take on the Mel Gibson DUI & anti-semitic comments.

Who cares? How does this change the state of the world? Aren’t there more important things going on?

Oh, by the by, if everyone who has every drank too much and said mean and idiotic stuff  they shouldn’t say was in the pokey and unemployed, the highways would be lonely stretches of asphalt and the U.S. economy would be in the crapper.

Can we move on, please?

Starving for attention?

I really need to vent!
I saw this photograph today of Keira Knightley at the premiere of the newest Pirates of the Caribbean.

This is just really frightening. Why do women do this to themselves? I don’t buy that this is her natural weight. I don’t buy that she is naturally slim.

Chicks – cheep, cheep, screechin’ along

Why is this woman smiling?

 The giant sucking sound of the brain leech trying to gather one more snack from Natalie Maines' grey cells (and coming up dry), is a far more pleasing sound than the shrill Dixie Chicks.  Not their music, mind you, their opinions.